Criticism: Give It or “GIFT” It?

Mentors: recall the last time you had to deliver “criticism.” How did you feel? Did you cringe at the thought? Did you feel less-than-adequate to handle the task? Did you avoid it for as long as you could and then deliver the “bad” news quickly and depart just as quickly? Was it effective or only just good enough so you could cross the task off your “to do” list?

What if you could deliver criticism in such a way that those who receive it from you might actually end up craving more criticism from you because of how you delivered it?  Would you be interested in changing your approach to delivering criticism? Criticism (or coaching, correction, re-direction, guidance) can be a gift to those who receive it IF it:

  1. Reflects the fact that you, as the “gifter”, know this person very well…you know what that person needs, when they need it, and how much of it they need…in other words, the gift is customized for the receiver, as best you know how.
  2. Is gifted with utmost sincerity…without a hidden agenda…no
    “between the lines” messages…no mixed messages…no power plays.
  3. Becomes a conversation between two colleagues, both trying to do the right thing for the workplace and each other as professionals.
  4. Focuses on objective rather than subjective performance standards, mutually established, understood and accepted.

Now, mentors, think again about the last time you had to deliver criticism. Replay that situation in your mind using the “gifting” approach just outlined, thinking carefully about the application of each of these four principles of “gifting” criticism. How would it have made a difference in how you felt about delivering criticism? How would it have made a difference in how the recipient felt about the criticism? How would it have made a difference in the effectiveness of the criticism?  

The next time you’re faced with delivering criticism, consider “gifting” it instead. Expect to be delighted with the results.

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